soundtrack to my life

When I was 14-years-old I caught my big break. I was chosen out of thirty some girls to play Anne Frank in the stage adaptation of her diary. I was enthusiastic, but I lost some steam when rehearsals carried on until 11PM six days a week. My grades slipped, and I didn’t have time to participate in extra-circulars or hang out with my friends. The ghost of Anne was my best friend, and at the time this song seemed like it was written for me just as much as it was for her.

Neutral Milk Hotel - Ghost

By the time I was 17 I had never seriously dated anyone. Boys my own age seemed disinterested in me and I was disinterested in them. Then I met Brian. He loved the bands I loved, had read the book I had read and we even had a predilection for the same movies. He was older. Six years older. My parents overlooked that because he was a college graduate, had a good job at a publishing house, and was all-around “clean cut.” He made a mix-tape for me (yes, an actual tape) and this was one of the tracks he chose:

Broken Social Scene - Anthem for a Seventeen-year-old Girl

Brian and I moved to Portland, OR after I graduated. I made new friends there—friends Brian thought were the wrong sort of friends. Maybe they were because their lifestyle didn’t align with my student lifestyle and subsequently I dropped out of Portland State. The same year Brian turned 25, and I was carrying the weight of his “quarter-life crisis” on my shoulders. We decided to spend time apart, and after three weeks without seeing each other met up at a café. It was raining (it was always raining in Portland), but the weather only compounded the devastation of our break-up. After giving me his umbrella (which I obsessively held onto for months) and I departed on a bus. This was my “break-up song”.

Radio Dept. - Where Damage Isn't Already Done

After dropping out of school, I got a minimum wage job at a thrift store and moved into an apartment with my best friend in a very bohemian neighborhood. With a pseudo-bohemian life comes pseudo-bohemian cling-ons, and strapped for cash my roommate and I opened our home to them, subletting to vagrant “gutter punks.” Eventually our landlords caught on to the loud parties and coming and going of what they called “suspicious characters”. Overworked from two jobs, I came home one evening to find an eviction notice on my front door. I didn’t initially react because I was so wiped-out. This song was written about Portland (Rose City on the 409) and feeling wiped-out. I don’t think any song has ever been so apropos.

Elliott Smith - Bled White

This is currently my favorite song. I’m struggling and I feel like the proverbial roof is caving in on me, but I can’t hide.

Wire - Outdoor Miner

PJ Harvey - Let England Shake (extra credit)

PJ Harvey has been careful not to repeat herself with her 2011 release Let England Shake. Her lyrics about war and poverty are as dark as ever, but her delivery is notably softer, singing in a higher range than on her seminal Dry. It would be misfortune if Harvey abandoned her dark side, but rather than singing about being a woman lost, she laments an entire country. The album unfolds like a history lesson on 20^th and 21^st century English tragedies—from “soldiers falling like lumps of meat” to cynically taking failed hopes for peace to the United Nations in “The Words That Maketh Murder.” Incorporating English folk rock, early rock and dream pop, Let England Shake is more accessible than the more distorted arrangements on many of Harvey’s prior albums. When it’s broken down, Let England Shake is a collection of protest songs, drawing on influence from The Zombies and The Pogues and, most apparently, Patti Smith. Although it’s a tribute to England, Let England Shake should not be overlooked by an American audience because if you substitute England for the name of any other nation, you’ll still have a solid album about the barbarity of war.

Dead Poets' Society (freestyle music list)

Although my freestyle choice seems morbid, I consider it a celebration of the strength and endurance music has beyond an artist’s death. I’ve always thought that suicide is a particularly tragic end, and several of my favorite artists chose it for their own demise. This list is a tribute to their work.

All Cleaned Out - Elliott Smith

I don’t have a favorite Elliott Smith song. It’s impossible to choose. The lyrics to this uncomplicated melody reach out to me. My makeup runs when I cry. I pretend to be more composed than I really am when I’m drunk. And, yes, my clothes do occasionally clash. In short, sometimes I just feel all cleaned out.

All Cleaned Out

Man Who Sold The World – Nirvana/Kurt Cobain

It almost sacrilegious to say, but I like Cobain’s rendition better than the Bowie original. It feels especially intimate when his voice cracks.

Man Who Sold The World

Things Behind the Sun – Nick Drake

Two artists on this list, Elliott Smith and Jeff Buckley, cite Nick Drake as an influence. It’s easy to see the correlation.

Things Behind the Sun

Dream Brother – Jeff Buckley

It’s debated whether Jeff Buckley committed suicide by drowning or was swimming in his shoes. By including him on this list I’m stating my opinion.

Dream Brother

Ciao! – Lush

Lush is one of my obscure favorites from the “shoegaze” genre. Sadly, drummer Chris Acland ended his life by hanging himself in his parents’ home. On a better note, this song is one of my most empowered "break up" songs, and the male vocals are that of by my biggest crush, Jarvis Cocker of the band Pulp.

Ciao!

Scholarly Article

Music: Exercise for the Brain

Music Training Enhances Learning & Memory

A neuroscience researcher specializing in the area of communication and the brain has concluded from her studies that music training is like exercise for the brain. Music improves the brain’s “neuroplasticity” (the ability of the brain to change chemically and physically in response to learning) thereby enhancing processing of speech and language. Music training improves motor skills and visual-relationship skills as well as auditory skills—all elements of learning. Music training actually changes the structure of the brain, especially when introduced at an early age.

Musical training improves:

• working memory capacity
• verbal memory
• vocabulary
• listening skills
• reading skills

Musicians and those with musical training can better differentiate, prioritize, and predict what is important in an environment with background noise (i.e. noisy classrooms, daily life.) Music education could therefore especially benefit children with learning disabilities such as dyslexia, ADD and autism.

Formal studies indicate that the greatest benefit occurs with early music education, before the age of 7, and there is greater benefit with long-term training. Music training benefits all, not just those with musical aptitude.

These findings lead me to question the societal implications of early music education access. Are economically advantaged children who attend private schools or well-funded school districts in wealthier communities that provide music education thereby not only academically but also intellectually advantaged? Or can ethnic cultural differences of music integration in early home life compensate for formal education disadvantages in music education? Something to ponder…

Reference article:

Kraus, N. and Chandrasekaran, B. August 2010. Music training for the development of auditory skills. Nature Reviews/ Neuroscience, Volume 11: pgs. 599-605.

Opinionator #1

The NBC Nightly News was absentmindedly on in the background on the evening of Thursday October 20^th as I worked at my computer when I heard the all-too-brief warning from anchor Brian Williams that video footage that was about to be displayed was graphic and violent. Like a passerby to a car wreck I automatically turned to the TV screen, the warning serving more as an invitation for my attention than as a deterrent.

Despite my personal disdain for long-time Lybian dictator Gaddafi, I was disgusted by the brutality of his death caught on cell phone video that was displayed. I’m sure my facial expression may have mirrored that of Hillary Clinton when she saw the video footage on her Blackberry. Moreover and more significantly, I was horrified at the fact that the event was being displayed at 5:30 in the evening on primary network national news, a time when parents of young children often have the evening news on as they cook and eat dinner with family. The brief proceeding warning would have been have insufficient to avert and protect young eyes.

Isn’t footage such as Gaddafi’s death the ‘stuff’ of cable news, not mainstream network news? David McCormick, NBC News vice president for standards, said in the network’s defense, "We want to give our audience the most accurate reports possible without crossing a line into offensive or unnecessarily graphic material. We feel the footage that has aired has met those boundaries, and we're constantly in touch with producers about what is and is not acceptable."( http://news.yahoo.com/graphic-pictures-mark-coverage-gadhafi-death-222122899.html.) I suspect that NBC just didn’t want to be “trumped” by other networks, particularly the increasingly popular cable news programs.

Whether within the bounds of mandatory censorship rules and standards, networks need to take into account their viewership audience and its expectations. Viewers of the major network news do not expect “provocative” and “gritty” reports; for that we turn to cable stations, internet news and blogs.

Message to Brian Williams: it was not your domain.

Music Memories: Interview with my father

Born in 1956, my father was only 11-years-old when the Janis, Jimmy and Jefferson Airplane literally set fire to the fairground stage in his hometown of Monterey. The only thing he recalls was a swell of young people my late grandfather called “rabble rousers from San Francisco” who in his opinion needed “a kick in the ass from the 4^th division”.

Sixty-seven was personally historic point in musical history for my dad—it was the year he purchased his first record player. For the following two or three years he listened to primarily Motown. Some of his favorite artists were girl groups, such as The Supremes, as well as The Temptations and The Jackson Five.

By the time my dad was in high school he was turned on to Santana--a gateway to other rock musicians, such as Eric Clapton, Chicago, Cream, and Creedance Clearwater Revival. He held a special affinity for Bay Area bands, including Creedance Clearwater Revival, Jefferson Airplane and in particular the Doobie Brothers, who he’s seen live four times. He brags that he once partied with band member Brian Johnston backstage at the Catalyst in Santa Cruz.

When it comes to that decisive query—Beatles or The Stones—my dad rolls with the Stones. In fact, if he could choose one band to see live it would be The Stones, with The Who close behind (Tommy is one of his favorite films). He has been to some great concerts, the B-52s and Devo being two of the most memorable. The greatest performer he’s ever seen? Frank Sinatra.

The most recent concert my dad attended was this year’s Monterey Jazz Festival, but when it comes to radio, he’s still tuned in to classic rock stations.

My dad and I have a lot of commonality in our ardor for good music, but what I find most remarkable is our shared interest in supporting local music.

Musicians who play happy music:

David Bowie

Bowie has endured as one of my favorite artists since I was 13. I remember coming home after a bad day at school and listening to "Suffragette City" and waiting for that cathartic line: "Wham, bam, thank you mam!"
Suffragette City

The Flaming Lips

The Flaming Lips' 2002 concept album, "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots", is as fun as the title suggests. A Japanese super-heroine battles robots threatening the human race. The track "Do You Realize?" is undeniably one of the most simple, poignant and uplifting songs the band has ever recorded.
Do You Realize?

Donovan

I can't think of an occasion when Donovan has ever bummed me out.
Colours

Weezer

Although their second release, "Pinkerton," (my favorite Weezer album) is doom and gloom, their debut album is still buoyant and fun. Their 1994 single"Buddy Holly" has the cutest video of all time.
Buddy Holly

Fleet Foxes

I saw Fleet Foxes play in Big Sur three years ago, before they "broke out". Now I consider it tradition to listen to their albums in the car whenever I'm on my way down to Big Sur. I know the video is kind of sad, but I think it still manages to be an uplifting tune.
White Winter Hymnal

Sex & Drugs

Preface: I love all of these songs.

1) "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel
Ok, it's open for interpretation, but I think Mrs. Robinson was hiding more than cupcakes in her pantry. Although, I must admit, when I was younger2 I thought it must be candy she had to hide from the kids.
Mrs. Robinson


2) "Walk On the Wild Side" by Lou Reed
"Walk On the Wild Side" is my ring-tone, so I've had plenty of time to think about this. "Little Joe never once gave it away, everybody had to pay and pay." Pay for...what? "Candy never lost her head, even when she was giving head." There's also mention of Valium.
Walk On the Wild Side


3) "Acid Rain" by the Growlers
The Growlers are the next big thing out of San Francisco. That Said, if you ever sing "acid" and "trip" in your lyrics, you're taking Timothy Leary's sage advice.
Acid Rain


4) "Chelsea Hotel #2" by Leonard Cohen
Cohen was told that his lover prefers "handsome men" and he's a mere "exception", but he still got head on an unmade bed in the Chelsea Hotel.
Chelsea Hotel


5) "Lithium" by Nirvana
Cobain is lulled by the psychoactive drug, Lithium. Somehow in that haze he managed to be the messenger for generation X. By the way, he's "horny", but his will is good.
Lithium

Music Memories #1

Music in My Life

Age 5:

Color Me Purple

The year I turned five was indelibly marked by the debut on PBS of “Barney the Dinosaur.” Borrowing melodies from classic children’s songs and adding new words, Barney’s opening theme song “Barney is a Dinosaur…” was a magnetic call to the television, and the series’ closing song “I Love You, You Love Me” the affirmation ad nauseum of family and friendship. It is rumored that these tunes were used by interrogators at Guantanomo Bay to turture/breakdown prisoners.

In the car, I remember Raffi cassettes. “Baby Baluga”, “This Little Light of Mine”… My younger brothers and I would happily sing along while strapped in our seats.Raffi was undeniably uplifting. And there wasn’t much else to do.

Video cassettes (yes, I’m talking VHS tapes) of Disney Sing-Along Songs featuring Disney movie soundtracks were relatively new when I was five. Together with my siblings, I would happily “follow the bouncing ball” (ha, ha—we couldn’t read) and dance frenetically to the tunes.

Age 10:

Hostage

I turned ten just a few years before Britney Spears et al and the “tween music” genre.

I don’t recall music of choice at that age, but only recall being held captive to either my younger siblings’ “Go-go Power Rangers” and other TV theme songs, and to my parents’ predilection to mostly 80’s “classic rock” such as Bob Seeger, Tom Petty, John Melloncamp—music that nauseates me to this day. At least they also embraced and integrated the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel, music that I still appreciate to this day.

Age 15:

Search and Discovery

At fifteen I was still a hostage—this time at a Catholic all girls’ high school. My only interaction with boys my age was at co-ed dances with our “brother” school, where we “left room for the Holy Spirit” while nervously dancing to boy-band sonnets. I didn’t like the men or the music. So I developed a crush on my overweight, bearded history teacher (who seemed stuck in competing decades with his flannel shirts and Elvis Costello glasses).

Mr.______ picked me out as particularly moody and offered me the best remedy for angst—good music. Through him I discovered my favorite album to this day, Aeroplane Over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel, and my ill-fated favorite artist, Elliott Smith. I also began listening to 60's and 70's experimental rock, such as David Bowie, The Velvet Underground, and Lou Reed. I could now identify with the “indie” scene, which was a common denominator for making friends when I transferred to public school my junior year. Music shows became my primary social outlet and admittedly still are.

I listen to the music I listened to then to this day, and the search and discovery of good music is still meaningful part of my life.

5 songs I HATE:

"Barbie Girl" by Aqua
This song was released when I was in junior high. It reinforced my insecurities about being imperfect; that I should be like Barbie. Plus, it has one of the most grating EuroPop beats I've ever heard.
Barbie Girl

"Smile Sara" by Hall and Oates
I don't like this sort of "slow groove" beat. When I was 16, a boy giving me a ride home played this song and tried to make a pass at me. My name is spelled with an "h", thank you very much.
Sara Smile

"Summer Girls" by LFO
LFO was a fourth-tier boy band that experienced only one hit single (thankfully.) The lyrics are laughable: "New Kids on The Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick and "Billy Shakespeare wrote a bunch of sonnets." The line "I like girls who wear Abercrombie & Fitch" promotes a clothing brand I could not afford to wear in junior high.
Summer Girls

"Rico Suave" by Gerado Mejia
A greased up muscle "latin lover" singing about being a self-appointed "gigalo" and "rapping" the lines "my only addiction has to do with the female species, I eat 'em raw like sushi" makes me lose my appetite.

Rico Suave

“Nookie”

I think I hate “Nookie” more than any of the aforementioned songs because most of the songs listed above have comedic value. “Nookie” is about “trash talking” an unfaithful girlfriend and admitting that she was only valuable for sex.

Nookie

My 5 favorite song (in no particular order):

1) "Holland 1945" by Neutral Milk Hotel. When I heard Neutral Milk Hotel's cult worthy 1998 album, "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea," I felt like every song was written exclusively for me. I happened upon the album through hearsay a few months after playing Anne Frank in a play based on her diary at a local community theater in Salinas. Feeling commonly angsty at 14, Anne's diary was my best friend. My peers criticized her diary entries as "werid", especially when she recorded her observations about the maturation of her body and her concerns that she was even psychologically abnormal. Jeff Mangum, lead singer and songwriter for Neutral Milk Hotel, wrote that he "fell in love" with Anne after reading her diary. "In the Aeroplane Over the sea" is a loose tribute to Anne, with tracks such as "Oh, Comely," in which Mangum laments: "I know they buried her bodies with others/will she remember me fifty years later/I wish I could save her in some sort of time machine." "Holland 1945" is uptempo and boisterous with fuzzy guitar and horns celebrates Anne and yet reminds the listener of the inhumanity of her death with the first lines: "the only girl I ever loved was born with roses in her eyes/but then the buried her alive one evening 1945/with just her sister at her side/and only weeks before the guns came and rained on everyone."

Song: Song: Holland 1945

Lyrics: http://www.songlyrics.com/neutral-milk-hotel/holland-1945-lyrics/

2) "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel. I remember my mom humming the lyrics to "The Boxer". It was one of the first songs I could recognize as a child and realize the emotion behind the narrative emphasized by the crash of a drum: "when I left my home and my family /I was no more than a boy/In the company of strangers /in the quiet of the railway station running scared /laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters /where the ragged people go/looking for the places only they would know."

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKjEHfHINQ">The Boxer

Lyrics: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Bled-White-lyrics-Elliott-Smith/5E3F95C14D13A9E8482568AB00172085

3) "Bled White" by Elliott Smith

Elliott Smith has always touched me with his emotionally raw lyrics. "Bled White" is about Smith's hometown, Portland, OR, where I lived for two years. The song is about the hollowness Smith felt in Portland; a hollowness I shared. In 2005 Elliott Smith died of a self-inflicted knife wound in the chest. I was a junior in high school, and when I read the neww I cried. He was my Kurt Cobain.

Bled White

4) "Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth

While living in Portland, I attended a protest on the fifth anniversary of the day the US invaded Iraq. The protest escalated into a riot, and I found myself in front of City Hall with my camera, taking photos for my journalism class. Riot police rushed the crowd, and I was incidentally clubbed and maced.

Song: Teenage Riot

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/sonic+youth/teenage+riot_20127627.html

5) "Chelsea Hotel #2" by Leonard Cohen

The song is written about Cohen's one night affair with Janis Joplin at the Chelsea Hotel.

Song: Chelsea Hotel #2

Lyrics: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/CHELSEA-HOTEL-NO-2-lyrics-Leonard-Cohen/1A7711D520478DBF48256AF00027B605

My five favorite songs (in no particular order):

1) "Holland 1945" by Neutral Milk Hotel.

When I heard Neutral Milk Hotel's cult worthy 1998 album, "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea," I felt like every song was written exclusively for me. I happened upon the album through hearsay a few months after playing Anne Frank in a play based on her diary at a local community theater in Salinas. Feeling commonly angsty at 14, Anne's diary was my best friend. My peers criticized her diary entries as "werid", especially when she recorded her observations about the maturation of her body and her concerns that she was even psychologically abnormal. Jeff Mangum, lead singer and songwriter for Neutral Milk Hotel, wrote that he "fell in love" with Anne after reading her diary. "In the Aeroplane Over the sea" is a loose tribute to Anne, with tracks such as "Oh, Comely," in which Mangum laments: "I know they buried her bodies with others/will she remember me fifty years later/I wish I could save her in some sort of time machine." "Holland 1945" is uptempo and boisterous with fuzzy guitar and horns celebrates Anne and yet reminds the listener of the inhumanity of her death with the first lines: "the only girl I ever loved was born with roses in her eyes/but then the buried her alive one evening 1945/with just her sister at her side/and only weeks before the guns came and rained on everyone."

Song: Holland 1945

Lyrics: http://www.songlyrics.com/neutral-milk-hotel/holland-1945-lyrics/

2) "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel.

I remember my mom humming the lyrics to "The Boxer". It was one of the first songs I could recognize as a child and realize the emotion behind the narrative emphasized by the crash of a drum: "when I left my home and my family /I was no more than a boy/In the company of strangers /in the quiet of the railway station running scared /laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters /where the ragged people go/looking for the places only they would know."

Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKjEHfHINQ

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon+and+garfunkel/the+boxer_20124664.html

3) "Bled White" by Elliott Smith